I’m Speaking. Who’s the “I”?
Over a year ago, I started “Method Writing” classes with poet and teacher, Jules Swales. The classes are sculpted around writing like you talk. And on chiseling down to the deep voice with two questions, “What is the story of my life?” and “What is the Truth of who I am?” I wrote those questions on a prominent orange sticky and pasted it at the edge of my computer screen. I begin with them whenever I write.
Women often run parallel to the river of their unique voiceprints. I was shocked when I saw that I had. I found an exquisite, deeper honesty to write from, to speak up from. It seared. It honeyed. It was real.
I’m not alone in shedding layers of “should” from my feminine frame. Unlayering women pop up in droves in my Zoom rooms. A wave of more authentic knowing and speaking is emergent. Unapologetic. Certain. Clear. Focused. Across all age levels. Woven of Love and Wisdom.
We are Love. We are Love, a beautiful, fantastical, creative, mystic, and magic force that is all things in motion. We are Love. We can fall into Love. Into the Self.
Jules speaks of “finding ourselves on the page.” The woman who emerges on my pages is inward listening, sensual, sensitive, poetic, spiral-thinking, circular, playful, sexy, wild, intuitive, powerful, creative, intense, certain, a nonconformist, even mysterious. A sassy rebel. But a rebel with a cause: the right and the will to know and to speak my Mind. It’s the Mind of a full-hearted, open-throated woman. The Mind of the Divine Feminine.
She’s no surprise to me. We’ve had inner dialogue for as long as I can remember. Yet, I’ve hidden her to fit in, to get along, to be approved of, to belong.
Belong to what? I ask myself. A family? A community? Peers? An ideology? A religion? A profession? A spiritual understanding? Yes, to all.
Whatever happened to belonging to your Self?
Yesterday, my husband and bread from heaven sent me a remarkable video called “The Backward Brain Bicycle.” Give it 8 minutes. It got me thinking about how invisible the story of “I” can become. Mine has been smooth and functional. But what was the rest of the story?
What is your story? What have you held back? What have you judged? What did you leave in the dust when you squealed your wheels and roared off into the lanes painted by the patriarchy? What “tsk tsks” and wagged fingers silenced you? Were you too feeling, too sensitive, too ‘woo woo’, too unscientific, too much or not enough, too, well, too damned female? Are you a witch in a straitjacket? Me, too.
We each have something special to say. Our deep voice is unique. We CAN speak from Truth as old as time, as potent as a newborn baby and as transformative as a flower that pushes through earth in springtime, ka-pow-ee. Right as rain. A force that knows when and how to blossom. We are that force.
“I wish I’d had the guts to speak from my deepest truth long ago,” I said to an intuitive mentor. Her maiden’s face, smooth skin that framed dark, reflective eyes stared at me from my over-sized computer screen. My office was still and shimmered in desert sunlight. I glanced at my age-spotted hands. I sighed with regret. “If you had spoken before about what you SEE,” she said, “you would have spat into the wind. The time has come.”
The time has come for women and we know it.
Not caring that others don’t like or agree is a valuable stance. Not caring. Hard words for most women to swallow whole. But we must swallow them, even if we have to bite them into small pieces before we chew.
We can deep listen to feedback and disagreement, with the willingness to let it influence us, when it rings true. And discard it, without doubt, when it doesn’t. Truth loves Truth. Read that again. Truth loves Truth.
Copyright 2021: Linda Sandel Pettit, Ed.D.
Graphic: Brentiis Design
Linda Sandel Pettit, Ed.D., a priestess-at-heart, sassy wise woman, and retired counseling psychologist, offers Zoom-based or phone psychospiritual and intuitive conversations from her home in the Arizona desert. She loves putting her intuitive nature, spiritual understanding, and clinical experience, in service to others. Clients on her longer-term packages write books, birth projects and deepen their spiritual grounding.
With her colleague, Lydia Randolph, Linda will premier a new small group program for women, I’M SPEAKING, on March 4th, 2021. Classes are currently full, but email Linda to join the waiting list.